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AN APOLOGY

Honchos
Honchos

A while ago we did a teaser on a local band that went something like this: ‘Pretty good, but could do better, check back with us later when you’ve learned how to write a decent chorus.’

The piece went unnoticed for a good while, no one cared, and why would they?

Until someone brought it to our attention via the power of social media and told us (and we’re paraphrasing here) that we here at Around The Sound are a passive aggressive bunch of dicks for daring to say that the band has potential but isn’t quite there yet and that our magazine blows. Hard!

Well, thanks for the feedback. The morning we woke up and read it we were just about to pull the doona over our head and stay in bed sulking for the whole day. But, no! We decided, wounded though we were, we would soldier on.

Something nagged at our mind as we swam through the stream of the day’s media releases and bands hungry for adoration, exposure, any kind of attention they could get. What if we were wrong? What if we were having a bit of a bad day and the band in question really could write a snappy chorus? What if they’d gotten better? After all, it had been a while.

So, we had another listen and this is what we found.

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Turns out we were having a bad one the day we turned in the original piece. A really bad day! What were we thinking?!?

See, not only can the band in question not write a decent chorus, but their music also is derivative, whiny, unoriginal bilge that could appeal only to the tinniest of ears. Or the tiniest. Or the completely deaf. We’re so sorry we led anyone to believe this band may have some promise, because promise they have not.

We guess that the band’s members probably do some dreary day jobs while dreaming of being rock and roll superstars. Well, you four should get used to the drear and drudgery of your day jobs, because you ain’t never gonna make it in the music biz.

Give up now before you waste another moment of your lives.

And the band? Honchos. To be avoided at all costs.

Thank you, and good night.

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