Around The Sound’s very own rock’n’roll Agony Aunt
Dear Aunty Norah,
I go to lots of gigs and I always end up standing next to the two people in the room who talk over the top of the PA about whatever comes into their drunken minds, or with THAT GUY in standing right in front of me. You know, the tall one, or the one wearing the impossibly big hat, or with the biggest afro you’ve ever seen. It’s even worse when THAT GUY also spends the whole gig talking at 100Db to his mate about the price of cheese.
Please advise me how to avoid this in the future and save the world from my homicidal rage.
Gig Goer 2018
Dear Gig Goer 2018,
Have you tried human growth hormones? They’re easily available on the dark web and will induce rapid growth, so no more issues with tall people or stupid hats/haircuts. Known side effects are deafness, which is a great help with loud talkers, and nine out of 10 users report a reduction in their levels of homicidal rage. Given your current predicament, I think this is your only responsible course of action.
Got a rocking problem? Let Aunty Norah Gig Explorer sort it for you. Send email to firstname.lastname@example.org